please don't shake me

if you were sitting around thinking that you would like to learn something about me, allow me to educate you. i fall asleep a lot. i have been known to drop my head and let my droopy eyes close in less than accommodating situations a time or two. in my past i have conked out on trains, planes, automobiles, buses, boats, and just about any form of transportation that you may think of and at record speed. at desks in numerous classrooms and jobs, with my head down or in my hands. head placement doesn't really matter. in doctor's offices, at music festivals and concerts, an ARD meeting, dinner tables (yes, while conversation is still going), the church pews, so many church pews. against walls, on shoulders, holding on to rails, curled up in a ball, sprawled out, and my new favorite that i did not know about myself until i starting sleeping with someone...on my back with my knees in the air. on towels, coast side or on floaties in the pool. and those are just the abnormal places not including cozy couches or beds which, in my case, are an undeniable pull into dreamland. i look forward to the days when i have no clock waking me up. i often will sleep 11 or 12 hours until i know it is time to drag myself away from my peaceful slumber if i have no pending obligations.

this is how i have been for as long as i can remember. hayden explains to others who are not so familiar with how this girl works that i function at just a degree above consciousness at all times, so i am ready and available for the next quiet moment to snooze. never mind, it doesn't have to be quiet. i have concluded that he can sense it. he knows just when i am out and calls or comes home just as the zzzz's are taking hold. he senses those first delightful moments and makes enough noise to stop it from happening. even though i try to act like i was really awake, doing a yoga video or reading a book, he knows the truth and calls me out every time. he also holds no regard for my extra sleep time or any sleep time for that matter. although, i can't think of a sweeter voice to wake up to. and i should be grateful for a husband who prefers me to be awake.

please don't mistake my jovial tone for bragging, for i am not. i often wonder about what it would be like not to be so paralyzed with sleepiness and live with the freedom of being content with just an ordinary 7 or 8 hours or to naturally rise at a time that is officially still considered morning. not to fight the inevitable head bopping war when my body sits still for just the right amount of time, finds the right amount of warmth and begins to shut down. i'm much like your computer when you leave it alone for a few minutes and the screen goes black. unless you shake things up with the tug of your mouse or a push on the keyboard, it remains.

this makes me think of thanksgiving, the holiday that literally drugs me to comatose after overdosing on biggie sized portions of mama's homemade comfort food. on this glorious holiday, i can blame my sleepiness on something else besides not getting my much needed 12 hours, and two afternoon naps.

the irony of it all is that i sleep with my eyes creepily open. it is not charming, in no way cute or endearing, just creepy and a little frightening if you have never seen it before. i often wonder how many people i must have scared with the whites of my enormous eyes or who have stared while i remain undisturbed.

it's a wonder. it really is.